Israel, Crete, Venice
March 13 to June 7, 2022
I left you in Tel Aviv on a rainy day in March.
And to give you an idea of where this is going:
That was a little less than three months ago.
Seems far longer.
I bicycled south and camped near Rishon LeTsyon. My first night in the hammock in three weeks.
The following day, I bicycled most of the day and then, after dark in the rain, Tamara (a cyclist & runner and swimmer met on Bumble) picked me up in Beit Kama, put my bike on her bike rack and then I rode most of the way to Elat with her and her coworker John (an American). John is a bit of a motorhead and used to write a blog called The Driver’s Headspace. He hadn’t even started college yet I believe and was doing research at Tamara’s marine biology lab in Elat.
I spent my first night in the desert in the lee of a bush and the next day moved into an Airbnb/hostel sort of place because the wind was intense and I decided to stay in Elat a week for the weather to get better and to see who I could meet.
I met one person from Dahab (on the Red Sea coast in Egypt/ Sinai) via Hinge—I have yet to meet her in person but we’ve kept in touch and if I get to Thailand in the winter there’s a chance to meet her in Bangkok. I met a British/Israeli woman at the hostel who has a place in a village in France I might stay at should I ever head that way (Fresnes-Sur-Apance, between Zurich and Paris). I met the two Moldovans who worked at the hostel (Ann was tall, beautiful, graceful, helpful, and friendly—). I met Tamara and a bit of her family and we went on a bicycle ride together one morning. And that same afternoon we went to her marine biology lab and I went swimming there.
You can see the runs and rides from that time (and some of the photos) on Strava.
When my week was up, I rode north. Finally I was riding again. The first night was in a date plantation. The second night was at Tzukim with Jasmin from Tinder (just friends). That was a very good meeting—except that she smokes a fair amount. I knew that would be an issue with meeting people in Israel so I was sort of testing my tolerance for that since she was upfront about it. But I really can’t deal with it in spite of us getting along well otherwise—so I left.
By that time I had also continued to speak with Efrat from Tel Aviv met via OkCupid. She seemed to want to bicycle with me to Haifa, so that was an interesting possibility though I would have been pleasantly surprised if that came to pass.
In addition, by that point I started to feel that I had plenty of people to meet if I wanted to and if I went back to Tel Aviv, so I was feeling a bit less lonely and rootless maybe than I had in my first two weeks in Israel.
Plus, once I’m in my slow-travel-by-bicycle mode I seem to keep relatively content socially vs when I’m waiting out cold weather indoors in a city. Though it’s hard to say what exactly causes the feelings of loneliness and meaninglessness to flare up. I’ll get them after enough solo wandering as well so just bicycling around in nice weather with books to read isn’t really enough for contentment either in the long run.
I seem to need to have some possibility of deeper in-person relationships to look forward to really be at peace.
At the moment I have a few things socially to look forward to: (1) possibly meeting a woman in west Slovenia (Bovec) around June 15. (2) the Bansko Nomad Fest in Bansko (west Bulgaria), (3) EthBarcelona possibly after that, (4) a woman in Turkey to meet and maybe bicycle with after that (5) my mom to visit in Iceland after that (6) and Efrat from Tel Aviv to video call with from time to time. Also I’ve still messaged Daphne from time to time when I come across something she might find interesting, so that’s another nice bit of continuity from the past.
However Saad has gone silent. My California connections are weakening. I’ve still talked with Andrea from time to time and that has been nice. So some connections have faded and new ones have formed but I am primarily a solo traveler for the most part here—it's just me and the voices in my phone I suppose.
And I’m lucky to still have my parents and even one grandparent to talk to also!
And there’s the relationship with the land—I found Crete was a very good place for me. I’m now in Venice (my third day here? seems longer), a place I’ve long wanted to spend more time in. And the land brings forth friends too—In Crete I met a 22 year-old cyclist from Belgium and bicycled & ferried with her for three days before she split off to head to Turkey, and I keep in touch with her via the app Polarsteps now. And at the campground at the mouth of the Samaria Gorge in Crete I met a friendly therapist closer to my age, Cristina from Austria, so should I head toward her small town (Wölbling), that’s another possible connection.
And needing to write this up is also a kind of company. I could let this slide I suppose—But I don’t seem to want to let everything fade into oblivion.
Also, in Israel, I got to walk with Anat along the Golan Heights Trail for three days, and we’re still in touch. The only one I’ve managed to consider a lover for a while was Efrat—And I did get to visit my oldest Israeli friends Gilad and Galia and Ela (and now they have two more children besides Ela) up in Yodfat.
And there was a state department employee who I had a great phone conversation with when I was staying in Jerusalem—and had I stayed in Jerusalem longer there were more people to meet—but I left early to go walk with Anat.
So, socially, I’m not starving. I’m grateful for that.
Much of the relationships are phone-mediated. Between the whatsapp messages, Signal, Messenger, the various dating apps, and video calls—I just walked with the woman from Turkey (Her name is Tansuk, which has a good meaning I’m forgetting) using the whatsapp video call to share the streets & bridges of Venice with her. Turns out some people set their location to Venice to meet people who are here—
So I’ve been working with what comes via phone & apps in some cases vs. what the land brings, but not always (like in Crete with Cristina from Austria and Sein from Belgium).
And instead of writing this straightaway I’ve spend quite a lot of time procrastinating. Using the phone and my internet connection.
Ah yes, there was also some conversation about meeting the son of a San Diego friend (she, my friend, now lives on Hawaii Island) for a bicycle trip in Europe soon and we chatted on the phone about that when I was in Eilat.
Just having people to talk to especially those who have some connection to a shared past helps a good amount to give me a sense of meaning—
Because I think I’m on a somewhat magical path connected with the great mystery as I wander in this way.
I was also able to get back in communication with Heather from North Carolina now (formerly from Santa Barbara) who is now walking the Appalachian Trail.
I think Israel may be too difficult for me to make a long-term home—so that is one realization from spending 2.5 more months there and getting to visit the south and the north and see my old friends and make new ones there.
Crete was a very nice change. Lots of room, lots of empty, rocky coastline, empty roads in the south, easy to find places to hang my hammock in olive groves or other pleasant places. It got hot though, and I found someone to visit in Slovenia (via Fairytrail), and the path of most interest and excitement seemed to lead to Venice, so I rode a 36-hour ferry from Patras to Venice.
I got a room on the ferry for an extra 85 euros. And the room came with a roommate from Amsterdam who had just finished law school and one of his masters degrees was in European Constitutional Law. His other is in Tech Market Regulation (that is the one he plans to pay the bills with). He had figured out how to get a special ferry pass from interrail, so his bunk had only cost him an extra 40 euros.
Should I say any more about my Tel Aviv friend Efrat? She has asked to be notified once I finish this. There’s really no one I’ve ever met like her. Nor would I have ever imagined meeting and loving someone like her. Each one of these relationships is very much like visiting and attempting to be at home in another country—and her country is a fairly different one than mine.
But it could work. It was partly her enthusiasm for the the show “Lives in the Wild” that might have made her interested in someone like me. One of the first things we did together was watch two of her favorite episodes. (The one about the guy who made himself a tiny hobbit hole house in a remote spot in Oregon near a creek and mountains, and the one about the couple who lived on a fairytale (purple & blue) art sculpture & garden built on top of discarded fish and oyster farm floats in an inlet in remote British Columbia.)
She kept hinting that she might leave her nest (a top-floor apartment among and under tall treetops and surrounded by other plants she grew herself and with her two cat family members and near her other Tel Aviv family and friends) to try traveling with me, but ultimately I realized I needed to go to her to get to be with her and so I did.
And naturally we had communication issues, misunderstandings, things we wished the other did differently, and at any rate we’re still talking and both of us are still meeting other people. So different though we are (she prefers to wake up at 2pm and go to bed at 2am or so & though she smokes less than Jasmin did, she has no intention of stopping either), there is some underlying mutual appreciation & value I think—I like some of what she has and vice versa? Or I’m just a lonely guy and she’s a friendly and responsive and appealing face to talk to on my phone? No—it is more than that—she's very affectionate and enthusiastic and open. She's good to be with. And we have a similar kind of emotional sensibility and appreciation for certain writers. She had me listening to _the loves of Judith / the four meals_ by Meir Shalev. The Israeli crow is a theme.
Every partner teaches me in her own way how to be better for them and (as a result) for the next one—and there’s a chance I actually do get better for my next partner from all of these shorter-term ones.
There are mistakes I’ve made and things I’ve put them through that future lovers will probably get to avoid. And some of the things they’ve had to deal with, well, the others still will also (my features rather than solvable bugs—like my ugly toenails and one fingernail, like how I don’t listen to music in the background and prefer silence, and how I nearly always wake up by 5 am). Most of all, for the moment, it is nice to have someone to video call with who knows me a bit and who is happy to talk and to listen.
I guess that’s all I’ll say about that.
I think I want a longer-term relationship with one person and possibly with a place/land/region as well. However, I was lucky to have a date with Athena on Crete who introduced me to the term solo polyamory, which seems like something worth contemplating.
I’m curious who I could meet if I travel like this in Japan, in Thailand, in northern Europe. Maybe I’ll be to some degree like Morgan Painter Hatch / footloosefemme who straight up labels herself a “solo traveler” (though there’s often a guy or two around).
I’m afraid I may not be thinking about what I’m doing relationship-wise very much and instead will just figure things out with whoever also feels like using their time with me to figure out where they might be being called to go as well.
There’s already a fair amount to narrow down the possibilities. Like no biological children. At least from me. No smoking. A preference for no cars.
As for what positive gets created from interacting with me—And what I hope gets created when I spend time with her, well I’ve got a bit of that on the dating profiles I suppose.
I think it is a bit about finding a home in a person. But what if I become one of these relatively exuberant people who sort of makes a home wherever they go?
Enough of that. Perhaps at the Bansko Nomad Fest there will be some further discussion of relationships among people freed from living in a particular place. But for now it is just a lot of words and my thoughts about the possibilities seem a lot less relevant than just meeting someone and seeing if there is any attraction or interest in finding a way to spend more time together.
Were I a theorist about human relationships perhaps really thinking through what is going on here, writing about it, becoming known for my ideas, meeting with others who also explore this stuff more thoroughly—that could lead to some interesting romantic connections.
But I tried that in the past with “the experience of meaning in life” and I don’t really want to do that with relationship, with intimate relationships.
I’d rather just work with who is here for me, who is responsive to me, and who I respond to—
To an extent it really is just whoever comes along and has the openness and intent. Then we meet and see how far we manage to travel together.
Yeah. Not a lot more to say there.
Ok. What about the land and all the pictures I took and any disasters I dealt with and any reflections on a country’s culture or how it was to be a bicycle nomad in those places?
And what about all the time I spent staring at my phone, or listening to audiobooks, or maybe even reading something?
That’s all a bit less interesting than the relationship end of things perhaps to me at the moment.
I think it’s time to call an end to this update. I’ve covered here roughly what’s happened and some upcoming plans.
Maybe I’ll sort through some photos tomorrow and see if any stand out.
Until next time,
❤️,
Colin
Download pdf of 380 photos (176 mb):
Strava has some of the photos and comments.
Polarsteps.com/colinleath has the more recent path and comments.
YouTube has a few videos from the past three months too.
Note that one of the first photos in the pdf is of the receipt for the redmi note 11 and redmi buds pro (bought in VAT-tax-free Eilat). That converts to less than $300 USD for the phone most of the photos were taken with and for the noise cancelling (anc) earbuds, phone case, charger. A very few of the photos were taken with my Samsung fold 2 (see, for example, the second bathing suit photo of me around page 100). So it would seem the redmi note 11 does alright. I wanted a lighter phone than my old note 9, better earbuds for phone calls, and the note 9 screen had burn-in. The Redmi note 11 has two sim slots, an sd card slot, a headphone jack, and perhaps the best battery life I've ever had in a phone, but it is not water resistant to 1.5m depth like most flagship phones these days.
One more note: in Israel, effectively unlimited mobile data costs less than $18/mo. In Crete with Vodaphone I think I paid 40 euro for 30gb for one month. In Italy I went in an SME store in an American-style big box shopping area (with a light rail stop that connects to Venice) and got a 70gb/ mo plan for 1 euro. And to renew it costs ten euros/month. And it should work anywhere in Europe. It's with Windtre. So far it has worked quite well and better than the WiFi in the Venice Airbnbs. Apparently I can even call the US and many other countries without using VoIP/Google voice, but I have yet to try that.
So it seems the US is rather behind in mobile phone plan competition and innovation. That said, perhaps there's some catch with this Windtre deal i have yet to discover.